Obama’s Disturbing Fascination With Hitler

Report by Hector Sanchez, NM Chapter

Far from villainizing the architect of the Third Reich, Adolf Hilter, President Barack Obama appears to have a morbid fascination with the man responsible for the deaths of millions of innocents during his reign in Germany.  Barack Obama has gone so far to flaunt his admiration for Hitler, that he has replaced the traditional portrait of Abraham Lincoln in the Oval Office with one of Adolf Hitler (pictured here during a meeting with Vice President Biden and key advisors.

More frightning than Obama’s veneration for one of the 20th Century’s most dastardly tyrants, is the new President’s desire to emulate the man that most of the World regards as one of the cruelest monsters in history.  Obama reportedly cited the success of Hitler’s state-run car company, Volkswagon, as a major reason for Obama’s hostile takeover of General Motors.  Additionally, sources close to President Obama have leaked rumors that the President refers to Evangelical Christians as “my Jews”, and furthermore, is emptying Gitmo prisons of Islamic militants “to make room America’s biggest threat” namely those Christians who “cling to their God and their guns”.  It is reported that Obama believes the U.S. will be a stronger more powerful nation “if the Christian virus is removed from our national bloodstream”.

DHS Issues Warning to Bloggers

Report by Michael C. Sahwalohs, AL Chapter

The United States Department of Homeland Security issued a stern warning to internet bloggers this morning in its continued effort to protect the American people from the onslaught of domestic terrorism. The announcement, as it was termed, “requested” that bloggers refrain from using such words as “bomb, threat, Washington, jihad, retribution, Constitution, nuculer [sic], building, President, attack, liberty, allah, explode, Congress, praise, suicide, freedom, or bombing." Phrases the DHS would like avoided are “‘Praise Allah’, 'gun rights', ‘car bomb’, ‘crooked politicians’, ‘dirty bomb’ ‘bush sucks’, ‘free speech’, and ‘bomb those capitalist bastards back to the stone age’.” 

The DHS went on to warn that the aforementioned list was not exhaustive, but should be read to include any any terms or phrases that might directly or indirectly cause concern, either physically or financially, for any member of Congress, the President, or a significant campaign contributor thereto. Homeland Security Tzar Michael Chertoff thanked bloggers in advance for their willingness to submit, and added that compliance would "help to reduce the number of unexplained disappearances."