Sponsored Informational Bulletin by Milton Bradshaw, CT Chapter
Do you have a hard time getting off the couch? Does the thought of climbing stairs terrify you? Do you snack between snacks? Are you one of those people who drive across the street to go to through the McDonalds drive-thru rather than walk your big lethargic backside 200 yards across the road? If you answered in the affirmative to any of these questions, you may suffer from Chronic Fat Ass.
I used to think I was just always overweight, but my doctor told me I suffered from Chronic Fat Ass, or CFA. He told me CFA affects millions of Americans but there is a solution. Ryser Pharmaceuticals recently released an amazing weight loss product called Ipecac CQ. Ipecac CQ works with the body’s natural chemistry to orally expel unnecessary calories before they show up on your lumpy, blubbery, unsightly, disgustingly obese body.
Unlike other diet plans that force you to eat expensive unpalatable pre-prepared meals, with Ipecac CQ you can eat what you want as often as you want. Simply take one Ipecac CQ liquid gel after eating and those unneeded calories disappear in a flush. In just weeks you will see and feel the difference as your weight plummets and your popularity with the opposite sex soars. Ipecac CQ users have lost 1000’s of pounds already. Janie (pictured right) lost over 100 pounds in just 3 months!
Ipecac CQ isn’t for everyone. You shouldn’t take Ipecac CQ if you are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant. Side effects are frequent and include nausea, fatigue, starvation, and even death. Your doctor may encourage you avoid Ipecac CQ, but she is probably just a jealous pig who just wants you to be fat like her. Just imagine how good you’ll look in a swim suit this summer when you’ve slimmed down to 75 pounds. You’ll be flaunting your sexy new body and your doctor who wouldn’t shut up about the so-called risks will still be fat.
Ipecac CQ, because you’re not good enough, but you could be.
