Nebraska Rejects “Flat” Characterization

Report by Jon Pranteen, NE Chapter

Calling the term “flat” a “repugnant mischaracterization of the beauty hidden within the gentle contours of the Great State of Nebraska,” Governor Dave Heineman, with the backing of the Nebraska State Legislature, announced that the great plains state would no longer answer to, “hey you, the really long, boring, flat state.”  Posing with 2007 Miss Heartland, Rachel Seidel, following the announcement, Governor Heineman joked with reporters saying, “as you can plainly see, Nebraska is anything but flat!”  Heineman’s wife, also pictured, reacted to the comment with a swift elbow to the governor’s ribs.  

After a heated exchange of incoherent mumbles between Heineman and Nebraska’s First Lady, the governor unveiled a replica of new state signs that had earlier in the week been place at either end of the state on Interstate 80.  Heineman closed the evening by inviting the World to “enjoy Nebraska’s subtle,” and winking at Seidel, “and not-so subtle contours!”