Report by Don Hanson, DE Chapter
After a stump speech Friday in Dover, DE, while making idle small talk with a group of “commoners” fawning over the would-be next President of the United States, Barack Obama responded to questions about former Hollywood vixen Heather Locklear (pictured right). John Marshall, a former Dover area high school football star and current part-time janitor at his former high school, lamenting that “all the political bull[puckey] going on was too depressing to talk about,” said that it was he who initially steered Obama to the topic of Locklear. “I always thought [Locklear] was hot, and since I have virtually nothing in common with Mr. Obama, I figured we could talk about hot chicks.”
What subsequently seeped from the Democratic Senator’s mouth shocked not only Marshall, but most of the other Obama devotees leaning on Barack’s every word. “I think that tired old [actress] is tore up. Yeah, [Locklear] used to be hot back when she was on The Fall Guy,” ranted Obama, “but now she looks more like that ol’ biddy (pictured left) married to John McCain.” Following the outburst by the Presidential frontrunner, Marshall, shocked and dismayed, shook his head mournfully and muttered “what kind of idiot confuses Heather Locklear with Heather Thomas?”
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