Report by John Northingham, GA ChapterOn Friday, the House echoed the Senate’s historic compromise which introduced the most comprehensive population/welfare reduction bill ever to pass through Congress. Built on the back of Republican concerns about growing welfare rolls, and Democratic concerns over a growing World population, the bill (HR 5903), if signed by the President, will implement a series of targeted attacks aimed at the poorest segment of the U.S. citizenry. “This plan creates a meaningful, balanced solution for the Left and Right, and as a bonus, provides valuable, real-life experience for our troops,” explained Jerrold Nadler (D-NY), referring to the use of U.S. troops to eradicate the poorest members of our society. “I can’t wait to see what happens when one of those ‘Bunker-Busters’ rips through a trailer park - it has the force of 500 tornadoes,” estimated General Petraeus, new appointed Chief of U.S. Central Command
“We can literally remove 200 - 1000 people from the welfare rolls with each bomb,” boasted David Davis (R-TN), justifying his vote in favor of the bill. In a joint statement issued by House Republicans and Democrats, the bill was hailed as “an essential tool for lowering taxes, easing traffic congestion, and freeing up valuable property for rebuilding a more modern, more beautiful America. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) announced that the bill makes significant process toward stemming urban sprawl, “by opening up real estate within the city, the need for outward expansion is reduced.”
While the bill marks unprecedented cooperation between members of either side of the aisle, it also shows the depth of the disregard that our elected officials actually have for the citizens of our country. “The ruling class in this country hasn’t believed the poor to be their evolutionary equals since nearly the time of our Country’s founding,” instructed one DC pundit. This revelation into the mindset of our leaders, although startling, explains why the Washington elite are so flippant when it comes to the lives of less affluent Americans.
“We can literally remove 200 - 1000 people from the welfare rolls with each bomb,” boasted David Davis (R-TN), justifying his vote in favor of the bill. In a joint statement issued by House Republicans and Democrats, the bill was hailed as “an essential tool for lowering taxes, easing traffic congestion, and freeing up valuable property for rebuilding a more modern, more beautiful America. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) announced that the bill makes significant process toward stemming urban sprawl, “by opening up real estate within the city, the need for outward expansion is reduced.”While the bill marks unprecedented cooperation between members of either side of the aisle, it also shows the depth of the disregard that our elected officials actually have for the citizens of our country. “The ruling class in this country hasn’t believed the poor to be their evolutionary equals since nearly the time of our Country’s founding,” instructed one DC pundit. This revelation into the mindset of our leaders, although startling, explains why the Washington elite are so flippant when it comes to the lives of less affluent Americans.
Reports indicate that a Bush led assault will commence at 05:00 Saturday with bombs being dropped via fighter jets onto the strategic targets of Hamilton, the capital of Bermuda, the historic town of St. George’s, and the Royal Naval Dockyard on Ireland Island South. “The President expects a quick and decisive resolution,” indicated a source close to the White House, “in addition to the air raids, Bush has instructed the Navy to surround the islands, making English fortification impossible.” General Petraeus, recently recalled from Iraq to carry out the Bermuda invasion, estimated a 45 - 60 minutes siege, saying, “those English bastards will be grabbing their ankles screaming ‘bangers and mash’ in no time.”
Once the islands are under U.S. control, President Bush will begin construction of a 500,000 square foot palacial retirement villa for himself and Laura so that he may retire in a manner “suitable for a U.S. President.” The villa, designed by famed architect Peter Eisenman, who currently teaches at Yale University is set to begin construction in February of 2009. In a backroom deal made with Congress, the Bush family will purchase 500 acres of prime Bermuda real estate for 5 cents an acre. President Bush defended the plan by saying, “Imperialism is what made America great! Besides, Bermuda is a helluva lot closer to the U.S. than Britain, and should rightfully be ours anyway.”
