Army of Epiphenomenon

Attention Cadets!

It's finally here - the new official semi-sporadic Newsletter of the Army of Epiphenomenon! This Newsletter has been given a facelift, but is still loaded with news that the mainstream media won't share. Make sure to contact your Chapter Commander for home delivery. You can click on the picture to read the cover of the newsletter, and I have included the full text of the most important article below. Other articles will follow.

AoE Detractors Attack the AoE

Report by Roger Morris, OH Chapter

A secret organization made up of the World’s wealthiest persons, launched an attack on the AoE over the weekend vowing to “put an end to the [AoE] within a year.” This group’s mouthpiece, known only as “Blackjack6” posted the threats against the AoE at http://commistoppers.blogspot.com. This group, which claims to select the President of the U.S., is the same organization thought to be responsible for contaminating much of the nation’s water supplies with harmful pharmaceuticals.

An AP report just published revealed that 41 million Americans have unwittingly been ingesting antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers, and sex hormones, among other things, by drinking ordinary tap water. While the results of the contamination are unknown, it is clear that this highly secretive organization has been attempting to control the minds and sexual habits of the population.

It is rumored that the organization, which is billing itself as “The Stoppers of the Army of Epiphenomenon,” has links to the Department of Homeland Security, various foreign intelligence agencies, and even terrorist organizations such as Al Qaeda. An unnamed Washington politician disclosed that “you don’t cross ‘the organization’ and survive; it’s their way or the highway.” It appears that this secret group is the puppet master, of sorts, to our government, which means that the primary goal of the AoE must be to cut the strings and free our country from the tyrannic control of this evil organization.