Friday, March 21, 2008

Hillary's Naughty Side Revealed

Hillary's Naughty Side Revealed

Report by Ted Anderson, KS Chapter

America was shocked this week to learn that Senator Hillary Clinton is a sexual deviant. “Hillary makes Bill look like a monk” disclosed former Vice-President and recent Nobel Peace Prize winner Al Gore. Gore, who has been aware of the sexual proclivities of the former First Lady for years, was until recently, barred from divulging that information by “The Organization” because they had considered Hillary for the job of President. Apparently, upon making the decision to give Obama the Presidency, they have decided that keeping Hillary’s secret life hidden from public view was no longer a priority.

“The Lewinsky scandal went much deeper than the public realized, said Linda Tripp in a recent statement to the press, “both Bill and Hillary were tappin’ that.” Tripp, who was working for The Group at the time according to a DC source, was instructed to disclose only Bill’s indiscretions at the time in order to protect Hillary’s political career while paving George W. Bush’s road to the White House. “Now that Hillary is disposable, The Group doesn’t care who knows that Hillary is a freak.”

Americans long wondered why Hillary stood by her man in the face of multiple affairs. “It makes sense now,” commented Julie Adams, a mother of three from Michigan, “she stayed with him because she was involved with the same women he was.” It is likely that the red hot three-ways went the other direction too, with Hillary, Bill, and another man. There was some speculation at the time of Newt Gingrich’s retirement from the House, that he was forced to step down in order to keep quiet rumors that he was sharing a bed with “a very powerful couple.”

“You have to consider the times,” Senator Larry Craig (ID) recently said in defense of Hillary, “Washington in the 90’s was a crazy place, there were a lot of former hippies in powerful positions in DC, and the ‘free love’ doctrine of the 60’s was being followed in all three branches of the government.” There is evidence that the Clinton’s were actively engaged in spouse swapping at least through their stay at the White House, and that former friend James McDougal, who died in prison, was killed because he considered coming forward about the true nature of the relationship he and his former wife Susan McDougal shared with the Clintons.

Sex, Lies, and Murder, a new book about the Clintons, is due to be released next month, by Epiphenomenal Press. The author, former Attorney General Janet Reno, who has been engaged in producing music since her service as the nation’s top lawyer had front row seats to the Clinton White House soap opera. “Her book is the ultimate tell-all, and told with the breadth and legal analysis that only a powerful attorney that close to the Clintons could tell,” raves The New York Post. The book will be in stores on April 22nd.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

dude, you think she looks hot in that leisure suit pict you have posted - wait until you see picts of her lesbian lover! http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/11/hillary_clintons_lesbian_lover. Here's another http://www.nancarrow-webdesk.com/warehouse/storage2/2008-w08/img.134910.html - I wondered why Chelsea had been hanging around mom so much lately - she ain't hangin with Hilary, she's gettin' it on with her lover!

I also remember the ad from the Christian Action Network in '99 - "It is rumored that Hillary Clinton is a lesbian. It is rumored that Hillary Clinton supports homosexual marriage. [...] It was rumored that Bill Clinton had an affair with Monica Lewinsky. Sometimes rumors are true."

Christians may gets lots of stuff wrong, but I guess this time, they were right on!

Caleb said...

lol i love how you have larry craig in this article....