Monday, June 29, 2009

Florida: Tired of Being Called America’s Penis

Report by Floyd Davies, FL Chapter


Led by Florida Governor Charlie Crist, a bi-partisan coalition of Floridians has drawn a preverbal line in the sand.  That line stands for the end of phallic references to the shape of the Sunshine State.  Florida, which actually does roughly reflect the appearance of a flaccid wang, has long endured the ridicule that understandably accompanies its geography.  Crist, who ironically resembles a turgid male genitalia when standing, issued the following statement, “Florida will, from this day forward, no longer tolerate degrading references by other states concerning the unfortunate profile of our great state.  Henceforth, we should like to be thought of for all the wonders that we have to offer, like Disneyworld, the Everglades, and scores of retirees.


Despite the current rhetoric, Florida has a long history of embracing its appearance.  In 1850 a plan, which was never acted upon, was put forth by the State Senate which would have created dikes, similar to Holland’s, to increase the size of the panhandle, thus effectively creating a geographic scrotum to accompany the main body of the state.  In 1887, the Florida House of Representatives approved a bill that would have changed the state nickname from “The Sunshine State” to “The Manhood State”.  In fact, even Juan Ponce de Leon, the Spanish conquistador who gave Florida its name, privately referred to the land as “El Pene” or “The Penis” as translated into English.


17 comments:

entrepod - mama asid said...

and to think I always wondered why so many of the folks in my state were Dicks..

thanks for clearing that up.
smdh.. again

politicus said...

If it at least wasn't flaccid...Maybe with the help of some male enhancement products and/or dykes (sic), the Pene state could reach Bermuda!

Dr Faustroll said...

But things will get harder now that Katherine Harris is moving to Wet Vagina to serve as a John Denver sugar substitute.

Whack it again, Florida!

Harrison said...

What does Baja California think of this?

EddieGarcia said...

I suppose I am out of touch with what is being said about what, but I have never heard of Florida being referred to by these names. Why does everything these days have to be spoken of with sexual overtones? People who think like this have warped minds and need to grow up!

Friends 4 Life!

Doctor Faustroll said...

I thought everyone had a penis mightier than the sward.

The BoBo said...

Hey - as a Floridian - I resemble that remark!

unfortunate names said...

i'm proud to be from a penis!

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