Friday, June 26, 2009

Family Values No Longer Part of Official Republican Platform

Report by Aimee Johnson, GA Chapter

In response to numerous sex scandals - in particular, several recent public affairs by high ranking Republicans - the Republican National Committee (RNC) voted Thursday to remove “Family Values” from the official GOP platform. Michael Steele, RNC Chairman, in a speech to the Committee, urged his fellow Republicans to vote to end touting family values by saying, “If we ever want to get votes again, we must stop preaching about family values then inevitably turn around and bang our secretaries. We’re not going stop banging our secretaries, so our only realistic course of action is to stop espousing family values. In that way we won’t be hypocritical pigs, just pigs, and that’s like ... 50 percent better.”

Despite the family-oriented rhetoric of Republicans, GOP politicians provide easy fodder for tabloids and gossip columnists. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (seen here top-left describing how thin his Brazilian whore is) and Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) recently made headlines with their extramarital affairs. In just the past few years, former Congressman Mark Foley of Florida (pictured here on the right savoring the taste of a teenage boy), and former Senator Larry Craig of Idaho (caught here with snack cake industry lobbyist Twinkie the Kid) fell from grace for soliciting sex from boys and airport defecators respectively. Additionally, GOP activists such as Neal Horsley (sex with man and mule), Randal Ankeney (drugged and raped a 13 year old girl), and Parker J. Bena (possession of child porn) have revealed to America just how truly little GOP politicians really care about families and morality.

Former Speaker of the House, Republican icon Newt Gingrich, who has been guilty of several extramarital affairs, commented on the move by saying, “It’s good to see that the RNC is finally on the same page as Republican politicians.”

10 comments:

Dwacon® said...

Addams Family values?

Mike Golch said...

I love it when they are attacking the democratic party members for their indescretions all the while doing the same thing.you would get a good chuckel with the post I put today.

Kate Burton said...

The new platform of the GOP - Open Marriage

Harrison said...

Good. They can become more amoral like the Dems.

Jason Gallimore said...

Republicans have basked in rays of hypocrisy for decades now in regards to family values. I think that if the party wishes to resurrect itself from the political doldrums then there needs to be a more broad and wide ranging platform of issues. Evangelicals are no longer enough to win you and election. Watching the sexcapades of many Republicans in recent weeks and months has been entertaining to say the least. It also amazes me that when they get caught with their hand in the cookie jar, they just dig a deeper hole by trying to publicly reconcile whatever it was they did.

askcherlock said...

I am awfully tired of the "stand by your man" wives as well. There is so much duplicity going on that "values" is becoming an antiquated term.

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