Administration to Apply Affirmative Action to Camping

Report by Gregg Childress, CO Chapter

Each year millions of Americans take to the great outdoors to enjoy a weekend of camping with friends and family. In the past, those millions of Americans have been almost exclusively White. President Obama, in a speech announcing the assent of former White House correspondent Helen Thomas to the newly created post of Camping Czar, said, “In this exciting new era of change, we must change how we view camping, and encourage people of all colors and creeds to explore and enjoy the vast opportunities camping has to offer. I believe Helen Thomas is just the person to guide this country into the new integrated camping millennium.

The 88 year-old Thomas, who has never actually done any camping herself, but has on several occasions been to Camp David to cover peace talks, announced that her first official act as Camping Czar would be to mandate that 10 percent of camping sites in every campground in the U.S. be reserved for minority campers. Campground operators across the country were outraged by the news, claiming it would cost them thousands each year in lost revenue as 9.99 percent of their campsites would remain vacant despite the demand by White campers.

Larry Smith, an avid White camper from Glenwood Springs, CO, complained, “There aren’t enough campsites as it is. Besides, camping and hockey are the only sports that Whites still dominate, so now what are [Whites] supposed to do during the summer?.” Other White campers such as David Newberger of Tennessee have already began thinking of ways around the upcoming regulation. “I know a guy that works with a Black guy,” said Newberger, “I’ll ask him if he can talk the Black guy into going camping with me. That way, I’ll get a campsite guaranteed!”