Democrats Shocked to Learn Obama is White

Report by Sean Jensen, CT Chapter

Rich White Democrats across the country are bewildered, distraught, and even angry today upon learning from TMZ.com that President Barack Obama is actually White.  The Internet media outlet TMZ.com released shocking pictures this morning of Barack Obama frolicking on a beach with a portion of his lily white ass exposed.  The pictures, which TMZ has reportedly been in possession of for nearly a year, were released after Obama FCC appointee Michael Copps‘s recent proposal that the Federal Government regulate the content of media in all forms, including blogs and internet outlets, to ensure “positive, responsible, news and information.”

The pictures expose the fraud perpetrated on the American citizenry by Barack Obama, whom many rich White Democrats voted for to assuage their White guilt.  I would have followed Obama to his grave,” stated a furious Barbara Boxer (D-CA), “because it made me feel better about being rich and White.”  Ann Francis, a White Connecticut volunteer coordinator felt bamboozled by the revelation. “I vote for Obama because I grew up surrounded by Whites in an upscale neighborhood, I didn’t even meet an African American person until I was 23.” Francis wondered, “since Obama is White, and I therefore didn’t actually vote for an Afro-American, does this mean I’m still a racist?”  

The Obama Administration issued a statement saying only that “President Obama has never actually claimed to be Black” and that “any attempts to construe this information as deceit on the President’s part is only evidence of a Conservative media bias, the type of which would be addressed by Mr. Copps’s proposed regulation of media, which is why it is so vital that such regulations be passed as quickly as possible.”  The Rev. Al Sharpton responded to the news by saying, “It figures that the only way a Black man can get elected in this country is by being White!”