President Obama to Twitter Executive Orders

Report by Harold Nickelson, MA Chapter

In an effort to reach out to the American people, while at the same time promulgating an exhaustive list of upcoming Executive Orders, Barack Obama has decided to utilize the social networking tool Twitter to accomplish these goals.  Much like the sport of golf, which Obama plays in order to stay in touch with “the common people”, the President hopes that his use of Twitter will cement his relationship with the hardworking folk that make up the backbone of this country.

“Twitter is the new water cooler at the office,” said Obama (pictured left texting updates to Twitter) at recent press conference, “I want to stand around the water cooler with Jack and Jill Lunchpale, much as I stroll the fairways with them and share a firm slap on the ass after a birdie putt.”  This despite the fact that most middle and lower class workers neither Twitter nor can afford to play golf.

Among the first Executive Orders that Obama will be Twittering is E.O. 13510, which mandates that all Americans seeking to purchase a vehicle must at least test drive a new 2010 Chevy B.H.O. or GMC Hope prior to making a purchase.  Also, reports indicate that Obama will also be limiting blogs focused on cats as early as Monday of this week.  Obama’s Executive Orders can be followed at https://twitter.com/ExecutiveOrders.