Oklahoma Introduces New State Motto

Report by Gerald Lotonmeier, OK Chapter

The Sooner State unveiled its new State Motto Tuesday to an excited crowd of almost 15 Oklahomans. The new Motto, “Pity us!”, is an attempt by the Oklahoma Legislature to bring attention to the plight which is living in Oklahoma. The state has long been considered the armpit of the South, and despite boasting the most obese city in the nation, the Oklahoma tourism industry is virtually non-existent. Having no

marketable assets with which to lure visitors to the state, Oklahoma has decided to invoke the pity card to entice soft-hearted would-be tourists to at least drive through the state, fill up with gas, and by a cold soda, on the way to a more interesting destination.

Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry applauded the new motto saying, “After enduring almost a billion jokes about Oklahoma being ‘The Sooner feed my own intestines into a meat grinder than be there State’ we have accepted our inadequacy and have decided to hang our hat on the only thing going for us, namely our pitiableness.”