Bush Orders Guns N’ Roses Back to Work

Report by Jan Lewis, CA Chapter

Citing “some regulation or something” that allows the President to send striking workers back to work, George W. Bush, Monday, ordered Slash (pictured right), Izzy, and Duff back into the Guns N’ Roses line up.  “If Axl (upper left) and Slash can’t get along and make kick ass rock ‘n roll records,” wondered Bush, “then how can Democrats and Republicans be expected to work together?”  

At a small ceremony at which Bush signed the order mandating GNR to reunite, Bush emphasized that Americans look up to Rock musicians and commented “In this, America’s hour of need, hacks like Finck, Stinson, and Pitman just don’t have the skills necessary to rally the spirit of this great land!”  Bush went on to pledge that “with order being restored to the House of Rock, so to will order be restored to our Nation’s economy.”  

To help ease the transition, federal agents took scab guitarist Ron “Bumblefoot” Thai (lower left) into custody early this morning with plans to detain him at Guantanamo Bay indefinitely.