Thursday, August 14, 2008

FDA Approves Intestinal Slip ‘n Slide

Report by John Turner, OH Chapter


On the advice of Rear Admiral Steven K. Galson, M.D., M.P.H., Acting Surgeon General, the FDA approved a controversial new formula developed by Pfizer Pharmaceuticals that boasts an end to constipation.  The new Pfizer drug, called Poop Shooter Plus, mixes Viagra with Phenolphthalein (a common yet possibly carcinogenic laxative) and claims to straighten the colon so that gravity will help aid intestinal evacuation.  Rear Admiral Galson said of Poop Shooter Plus, “It turns the colon into a veritable Slip ‘n Slide for turds.”


Pfizer plans promote the new drug by introducing the concept of “poop confusion” whereby defecants get lost en route to the rectum in a traditionally shaped colon.  By utilizing Viagra, Pfizer’s new drug is able to straighten the colon so that the laxative can easily move the turds south and out.


Rear Admiral Galson, acting Surgeon General of the United States, has been lobbying the FDA for passage of the drug from his sprawling 500 acre estate near the Hamptons for the past 90 days.  Incidently, Rear Admiral Galson purchased the estate from Pfizer CEO Jeff Kindler for $1000 just three months ago.

18 comments:

The Acorn King said...

I seriously thought that was a pic of a rubber fishing worm. I still do. I wonder if I could catch fish with that?

Chat Blanc (aka Sandy) said...

I thought the slip n slide for turds was the big attraction at Noah's Ark. I stand corrected.

Rickey Henderson said...

ewwww, you people and your poop jokes...

Skip DeKades said...

So if I understand this correctly, my colon will essentially get a hard on. Gee, that's erotic.

Skip DeKades said...

So if I understand this correctly, my colon will essentially get a hard on. Gee, that's erotic.

damon said...

It figures a REAR admiral would come up with this.

Funny thing about a turd post. It turns your google adsense into a proctologists' wet dream.

Well done, my friend.

Well done.

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