Product Safety Commission Forces Toy Recall

Report by Alan Jennings, CT Chapter

In response to consumer complaints concerning the wildly popular Playtime Toys’ DeathCon 5 “Kill, Rape, and Destroy” Exxxtreme Adventure Team, the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission (USCPSC) compelled Playtime Toys to remove the Dex McStabby: International Man of Murder Action Figure from toy store shelves.  According to complaints, the “razor sharp” sword wielded by McStabby is actually razor sharp, and has caused serious injuries to children.  The USCPSC will soon be deciding whether other members of the Exxxtreme Adventure Team pose a safety risk to children as well.  Bones Gruesome: SlashMaster Extraordinaire, a teammate of Dex has actual miniature razor blades attached to the soles of his boots, and the Luther Van Slay: Deep Cavity Penetrator action figure comes with long metal spear that, according to the box, “may cause serious injury or death.”  Through the Freedom of Information Act, the AoE was able to obtain several redacted copies of complaints to the USCPSC, one of which has been included below.