Army of Epiphenomenon

Clinton Campaign HQ Targeted by Group X

Report by Cedric Diggs, IN Chapter

Group X, who has been pressuring Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton to step aside following the decision to make Barack Obama the next President of the United States, took persuasive efforts up a notch. Following Senator Chris Dodd’s and Governor Bill Richardson’s failed attempts to convince Hillary to end her bid for the White House, Group X made the decision to utilize less subtle methods. Early this morning Group X operatives set Clinton’s Terre Haute, Indiana Campaign Headquarters ablaze.

The fire, which began shortly after midnight, tore through the building, damaging the support structure and collapsing the building. Two campaign workers, who had been working late, were able to get out safely, but one had her car destroyed when the building collapsed upon it. “This act pales in comparison to past acts by the Group, such as the assassination of Dr. King, JFK, and others,” commented one DC insider, “however, it is very rare to see them blatantly attack a candidate in this way, there must be a deeper level to the disagreement between Mrs. Clinton and Group X.”