Thursday, July 31, 2008

Schwarzenegger Calls For Statewide Ban on Man-Boobs

Report by Jeanine Folson, CA Chapter

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger urged the California Assembly to pass a controversial ban on what many laughingly refer to as “man-boobs.” In his statement to state legislators, Schwarzenegger singled out octogenarian Jack Nicholson, calling the famed actor a “sissified ‘guhrlie maan’ with [breasts] as big as Maria [Shriver].” The former body builder and movie star rebuked California, once the home of “tight bodied surfer dudes who really knew their way around a long board,” for becoming the home of “fat, fleshy piggies.” The Governator’s plan would give fat-chested men 90 days to “pump their flabby, fleshy ‘guhrlie’ bodies into shape, or they will be put on a Greyhound to Oklahoma.” Schwarzenegger’s statement ended by stating, “It’s time to send the piggies away ... go away piggies, go away.”

Larry Banister, proprietor of Larry’s Frozen Custard in Burbank, CA, and a man personally threatened by the proposed ban, responded to the news by nervously blending delicious frozen custard with tasty morsels of rich milk chocolate and caramel nuggets, then absconding to his back office to pacify his emotions with the heavenly treat and to call his mother for comfort.

3 comments:

sinisterdan said...

Killer post.

However, I think there's a photo or two of Arnold sporting an impressive man bosom now that he doesn't spend nine hours a day in the gym.

Stephanie M said...

Then Arnold's a big fat hypocrite!! I hadn't heard this news - does this mean if I want some big fleshy man-love, I have to move to Oklahoma???

Bill said...

Moobs are NOT cool!!