Report by Ruth Higgins, OK Chaper
In an attempt to reach out to America’s enormous and disenfranchised obese population, Barack Obama is championing a movement to establish September as Fat History Month. Obama, who has been in talks with the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA), announced that the proposed month was “in honor of the larger-than-life 27th President President of the United States, William Howard Taft, who was born on September 15, 1857.” “Aside from weighing in at an astounding 350 pounds, Taft was also fierce fighter in the effort to establish federal taxation, and limit the ability of States to interfere in the federal government,” commented Obama at a recent rally, referring to Taft’s work to ratify the 16th and 17th Amendments.
“The pages of our great history are rife with the contributions of fat Americans. Ben Franklin, Alfred Hitchcock, Babe Ruth, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Orson Wells ... and that other fat guy,” trumpeted Obama before a crowd of 12 corpulent voters who gave up daytime television in a show of support for Fat History Month. The Democratic candidate for President went on to call “large waist-banded Americans” the “bedrock of our service economy”, praising their “overindulgence in fast food and tasty snacks” as “patriotic” and “selfless.” A large segment of the obese population have rallied to support Obama in response to his kind words and promises to restore “Super Sizing” to McDonalds’ combo meals.
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