Thursday, June 12, 2008

Secret Bush Plan to Attack Iran

Report by Gerard Fine, TX Chapter

Sources close to the White House and Department of Defense revealed, on the condition of anonymity, that the Bush Administration is planning an all-out offensive on Iran in November. “On Wednesday, November 5, 2008, the United States will send forces West from Afghanistan, East from Iraq, and North from the Persian Gulf in a simultaneous push that will cut Iran off from the world and any possible aid ... hopefully,” disclosed a source close to the Administration. “This has been the goal for the last eight years, and we’re way behind schedule,” noted a DoD source. The source continued by saying, “we expected to be at this point three and a half years ago, and although we’re still not ready, we’ve got to make the move before Obama takes over, or we’ll have spent 8 years setting up this job and wasted thousands of American lives for nothing.”

Sources indicate that George W. Bush assumed that the Iraq engagement would be contained prior to the 2004 election, and that he’d use that victory to sweep his way to a landslide reelection. The U.S. positions in Iraq and Afghanistan would provide perfect staging areas to launch the Iran phase once Bush’s second term was secured. To date, there has been no such victory in Iraq, and no incoming president would jeopardize his second term by waging war on Iran ... unless, rationalizes the Administration, the war had already begun. Therefore, Bush and his crack team of military advisors have decided to launch an attack with less than 90 days remaining in his term so that Congress can not stop it prematurely, and after Super Tuesday, so that the attack won’t present another hurdle to McCain’s longshot bid for the Presidency. The move will burden the incoming Barack Obama with an ongoing war that he would do best to finish than to surrender.

3 comments:

Caleb said...

I think this is a really good move for the GOP, certainly it can't help Barak's presidency to have the Iran war going on. But has this been approved by Group X?

Stephen said...

I heard that we have been weakening Iran for years. Despite the exterior "holy" appearances of the Ramadan fast, everyone knows that as soon as the sun goes down it is party central. During that time, we have been supplying the Iranians with Bacon-Fatted Fruits and Jams from the Snedleys. They won't be in any shape now to resist. Now for the coup de grace. In the words of Hannibal Smith, "Don't you just love it when a plan comes together."

James said...

Scares me to think this could be more true than false...