McCain Whines About Obama

Report by Eric Timmons, NJ Chapter

Republican Presidential Hopeful, Sen. John McCain, threw a hissy fit Thursday in response to Barack Obama’s revelation that he won’t be using public funds to finance his general election campaign. “It’s not fair,” complained McCain, “Obama is more popular and people enthusiastically give money to his campaign. He just snaps his fingers and the checks come pouring in; meanwhile it’s like pulling teeth for me to get 5 dollars out of my wife.”

Since 1976, candidates have opted to use public funds (i.e. tax dollars) to finance their presidential runs, which has leveled the playing field, because each contender has equal funds with which to work. Obama, by opting out of the system, and due to his fundraising prowess, will be virtually unconstrained in his spending. In contrast, McCain, who couldn’t get a bucket of water given to him if his house was on fire, will be forced to live within the spending limits of the system he is forced to utilize. DC pundit, Robert Freisman, commented, “It’s rich that a supposed “conservative” is whining about a so-called “liberal” rejecting government assistance. McCain has singlehandedly shattered the myth that Democrats are the Party of sniveling weenies suckling at the teet of big government. Who is the sniveling weenie now?"  President George W. Bush reportedly responded to the news by asking, "Is it too late to run Huckabee instead?"