DNC Announces New Fundraiser

Report by Harold Wand, NE Chapter

The Democratic National Committee, in the face of economic hardships that have been hampering donation revenues, today unveiled a new strategy to raise money. For the first time, the DNC will be selling coupon books filled with various discounts on such things as Congresspersons’ votes and entrance to closed sessions of Congress. The DNC Congressional Coupon Book, which will be sold for $25,000, is aimed at ultra-rich liberals, corporations, and PACs.

 “Coupon books like this have been used for years by small organizations with great success,” stated Howard Dean, DNC President, continuing excitedly, “We’re simply taking this familiar concept to a whole new level!”

Detractors of the fundraising scheme have questioned the ethics of promoting the sale of votes and access to closed sessions of congressional committee meetings. “The DNC is basically saying that if you have enough money, their lawmakers are for sale. What happened to Democrats looking out for the little guy?” questioned Ohio Teamster Alan Petrovski. Dean addressed such sentiments by calling politics a “catch 22 situation” and saying, “we can’t help the lower and middle classes without money from the rich, and we can’t get money from the rich without selling out the lower and middle classes.”