Republicans to McClellan, "We Never Liked You!"

Report by Sanford Lewis, WI Chapter

Former White House press Secretary Scott McClellan recently released a tell-all book about the Bush White House, including scandalous revelations of fraud, deceit, and incompetence. McClellan’s targets included not only the sitting President, but Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, and “Scooter” Libby among others. The majority of the Republican Party, led by the so-called “NeoCons”, responded to the release by telling McClellan that, despite previous interactions to the contrary, “we never liked you anyway!”

I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, former Chief of Staff to Vice President Dick Cheney, noted NeoCon and felon, explained that, “although [Republicans] may have appeared to embrace McClellan in the past, we have always made fun of him behind his back.” Conservative radio personality Michael Medved, echoed Libby and added, “I could never stand that back stabbing publicity whore, I just acted like I liked him because I thought the establishment wanted me too.”

Not all Republicans acted so quickly to shun the former administration insider. Rex Jenkins, a conservative rural businessman noted, “He’s kind of a prick for ratting out his friends, but its probably the first honest word we’ve heard from inside the White House in 20, maybe 30, years.” However cynical it appears, it seems that many Americans consider admissions of dishonesty to be the only honest statements to come from our politicians.

The apparent success of McClellan’s book has prompted him to consider a follow-up book about George W. Bush. “There so much dirt in the White House, I’ve got fodder for about ten books,” revealed McClellan. He continued, “I’ve got pictures of Dubya in a french bikini - I’m going to have to work that in somehow - God we were so high that night ...”